Look at him when he’s talking to you and try to pay attention to what he is saying.

Sometimes I find myself looking at him or near him and halfway through his discourse I realize I’m planning my grocery list or something! “Oh no!” I think. This thing, of which I may have no interest whatsoever, interests him and I can at least listen. After all, I can talk about the decision of what kind of material to use for the living room curtains or what font I should use for a certain web page, something in which he has no interest, and I expect him to listen.

“But I’m in the middle of cooking something and he caught me on the way back from the bathroom!” Then, may I make a little suggestion? Communicate!

“I’m in the middle of cooking something and I’d love to hear what you have to say, if you wouldn’t mind moving to the kitchen” or “Excuse me, I’ll be right back. Hold that thought.”

How would you treat your friends? Would you yell at them and say (or give them a look that indicates this), “Can’t you see I’m busy? I don’t care about what happened to you today”? It seems that some people communicate with their friends better and treat them with better respect than their own families! These things ought not so to be!

Let’s try to focus on being attentive when our husbands speak to us.

The other night it was time to go to bed and I was tired. Instead of properly communicating this to my husband, I prepared myself for bed and walked around my husband saying, “Bed, bed, bed…sleep, sleep, sleep.” I kept complaining that I was tired and finally turned out the light…in the room where he was…and went to bed. Sounds like I need to read some of my own articles! I really don’t know what I was thinking, except that I was certainly not thinking of my husband’s needs or feelings. The fact is that I was only thinking of my own.

My husband, knowing that we strive to keep communication lines open at all times, sweetly said, “Now that did seem manipulative.” Ouch! I was stopped in my tracks and knew he was right. I apologized and thanked him for letting me know. Instead of either or both of us going to bed offended, we immediately began to reassess the situation.

First, we got all the facts. 1. He was not even aware of what time it was. 2. He had begun something new on his computer that he wanted to finish. 3. I was tired.

Secondly, we decided a better way I could have communicated the fact that I was tired and that it was time for bed. He needed to know what time it was. I could have mentioned that it was ten minutes till bedtime and he would not have started another project on his computer. I could have also stated that I was tired. He would have understood, not began a new project and prepared for bed. I don’t know about your husband, but hints don’t work with mine!

Because we got this issue settled right away, we were able to go to sleep just as soundly as any other night, if not more soundly.