The other night it was time to go to bed and I was tired. Instead of properly communicating this to my husband, I prepared myself for bed and walked around my husband saying, “Bed, bed, bed…sleep, sleep, sleep.” I kept complaining that I was tired and finally turned out the light…in the room where he was…and went to bed. Sounds like I need to read some of my own articles! I really don’t know what I was thinking, except that I was certainly not thinking of my husband’s needs or feelings. The fact is that I was only thinking of my own.

My husband, knowing that we strive to keep communication lines open at all times, sweetly said, “Now that did seem manipulative.” Ouch! I was stopped in my tracks and knew he was right. I apologized and thanked him for letting me know. Instead of either or both of us going to bed offended, we immediately began to reassess the situation.

First, we got all the facts. 1. He was not even aware of what time it was. 2. He had begun something new on his computer that he wanted to finish. 3. I was tired.

Secondly, we decided a better way I could have communicated the fact that I was tired and that it was time for bed. He needed to know what time it was. I could have mentioned that it was ten minutes till bedtime and he would not have started another project on his computer. I could have also stated that I was tired. He would have understood, not began a new project and prepared for bed. I don’t know about your husband, but hints don’t work with mine!

Because we got this issue settled right away, we were able to go to sleep just as soundly as any other night, if not more soundly.